I refused to write about the heated toilet seats and the bottom sprayer because it was too much of a Japanese cliché. The kind of Japanese story we always read about, some amazing piece technology that seems crazy to us and makes the Japanese look weird.

But that changed a couple of nights ago when I was out. I’m not sure where I was as we were having a drink or two, but in the course of the evening I went for a pee. I don’t look twice at the heated toilet seat anymore. All the buttons for back spray and front spray, bidet etc, wires to the seat to keep it warm, they no longer amaze me. I just try not to miss the bowl fearing some electrical shock in a nasty place. But this time I lift the seat preparing an accurate aim to see a blue neon light illuminating the bowl. It is incredible! I knew I had to write about it just to remember it. Shame I never had my camera to photograph it – a real piece of toilet history.

I’ve been seriously tempted to try the back shower spray again. It’s just that the last time I tried it I got a face wash by mistake. After finishing, I decided to have a go and touch a button to the side of the seat. I heard a motor bringing forward the sprayer. It is a nerve racking moment before a fierce force of water accurately hits the spot. I found myself screaming then giggling then screaming again before leaping off the toilet and getting a face wash from the spray. Since then I have shy’d away from the bum spray but each day I look at the sophisticated piece of technology lying dormant in my bathroom. I know I pay more to have this marvel in my room which makes me even more intent on trying it again.

It is only matter of time before I confront my fear of technology and start having a regular bum spray on the Japanese toilet of the 21st century.